Archive for the ‘Paula Abdul’ Category

Friday, April 11th, 2008

Paula Abdul’s Feet - Give Me A S-I-X

Click To Enlarge Feet

Star of song, dance, drug allegations and eating disorders, you’d figure that Paul Abdul would have the road-tested thighs and feet of a choreographer. Which she clearly does as evidenced in these photos. It’s the plastic surgery that’s accounted for the rest. As a former LA Laker cheerleader and the group’s head play maker, Abdul was so ethnic at one time she could have been in the Old Testament giving Moses directions out of the desert. Now, voila, Abdul’s neutral looks account for a comfortable niche with her making what amounts to weekly facial gestures on American Idol. In a legal decision we’re sure he’s thanking his lucky stars for, Martin Sheen became Abdul’s former father-in-law when she divorced Emilio Estevez. Born in San Francisco to a Syrian livestock trader and a mother who’s Canadian [thus ensuring an ample supply of Molsons at the family shiskebobs], Abdul, a product of Van Nuys High School, was inspired towards a show business career by Gene Kelly in the classic film Singin’ in the Rain. Malcolm McDowall in A Clockwork Orange was inspired to assault and battery, but not everyone reacts the same way. A little known fact is that among her credits, Abdul did the choreography for Jerry Maguire, and we’re still trying to figure that one out, discounting Cuba Gooding Jr.’s gridiron gambados. With no vocal training whatsoever, Abdul has also managed top playing singles on the record charts throughout her mysteriously anointed singing career. Abdul’s resume has not been without controversy, however. A former Idol contestant, Corey Clark, swore that they had an affair, and Clark on Howard Stern’s radio show described in detail his sphincteral relationship with Paula. A Fox network investigation sniffing the story out found insufficient evidence, it should be reported. The fact that Paula embraces an I Dream of Genie Look should be inspiration to anyone who’s come out of a bottle. Sheathed against shimmering flows of red satin, her complexion radiates satisfactory detoxification, though Paula’s erratic behavior has often been blamed on her bouts with Enbrel which, according to her, she takes for old chronic cheerleader injuries. Give me an S. Give me an I. Give me an S-I-X.

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