Archive for the ‘Naomi Campbell’ Category

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

Naomi Campbell’s Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

If you’ve been keeping up with this kind of news, the normally reserved and sensitive British tabloids have been all over supermodel Naomi Campbell like an auditor on Wesley Snipes. They’re saying that Campbell, who was born in London, is going bald with photos to prove it. Yup, sure enough, look at the forehead even in this shot and Naomi’s hairline’s parting like the Red Sea. This, due to years of extensions and straighteners. Even so, our guess puts it as a cheap publicity stunt to boost Naomi’s film, National Endowment. It’s a spin off of National Treasure in which she searches for a reliable breast enhancement and co-star Nicholas Cage discovers a cave full of remarkably preserved 18th century toupees. Socko entertainment is the advanced word. Campbell, a biracial Afro-Jamaican with a touch of Chinese, has never met her father, though she might want to start checking out all the Reggae song stylists in Peking for clues. The fact that Campbell at age 7 was tapped to appear in the Bob Marley music video, Is This Love, gives us a hunch that we’re on the right track. Campbell also appeared as a tap dancer in the Boy George video I’ll Tumble 4 Ya, and the fact that Boy is now balder than an eggplant leads us to believe there’s more to this hair conspiracy than meets the eye. You’d figure with her name, Naomi would have been the logical spokesmodel for Campbell’s Chicken Gumbo Soup, but you’d be quite wrong. Her supermodel powerhouse resume is way more particular. However, in a book titled Swan, originally attributed to her authorship, Campbell neglected one minor detail at its publication. She didn’t write it, later shrugging off the fact that she didn’t have time to attend to that aspect. A designer of women’s fragrances, Campbell created a stink when she physically assaulted her then assistant with a telephone. You’ll recognize that as the now standard Russell Crowe Manhattan hotel m.o. Another assistant, later, was beat on the head with a BlackBerry personal organizer. One more instance allegedly involved a computer monitor and someone’s face but that may have been one of those spirited tabloid inventions. In any event, Naomi’s left a trail of stitches all over the planet and leaves us in them with this “his and hers” pants outfit from the Hillary Clinton fashion warehouse. All of which declares the more obvious. There are scars on them feet, and a gaudy right ankle bracelet shouldn’t be pointing them out. Were they “2″ victims of second degree assault, or the playful result of a round house kick to a plate glass window? P.S. - if you have huge bunions, it’s generally advisable to keep them from bursting out from between your shoe straps.

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