Archive for the ‘Lisa Gastineau’ Category

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

Lisa Gastineau’s Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

It’s a known fact that cops pull over red cars more than any other color. So while Lisa Gastineau makes bail from the fashion detention center, let’s ponder some of the significances of her career. If you could call it that. Lisa’s the ex-wife of NFL legend Mark Gastineau. And that’s pretty much it for her cultural accomplishments save for the fact that Lisa got a reported $7.5 million plus their mansion in a very ugly divorce settlement. It was roughly half of Mark’s net worth, and then some, at the time. So with her newly acquired socialite status and license to party, Lisa’s male circle soon included Sly Stallone, George Clooney and mafia don John Gotti- the Manny, Moe and Jack of gossip. At that point, most women would be content to turn over and let the male appendage land where it will. But not Lisa. She invested her money in some of friend Donna Karan’s fashion ventures and now has a license to print her own currency. Together with her daughter Brittny, who apparently lost a vowel somewhere along the way, Lisa was featured in the enormously successful reality series about diamonds, wealth and luxurious living titled, “Gastineau Girls,” a cleverly titled play on the family last name. One can only imagine had Lisa been divorced from pro bowler Sonny Grabowski where she would have landed. While it would appear that plastic surgery has widened Lisa’s smile into a state of riveted, absurd permanence, the spider has also weaved his cunning web around her toes. Do we see things as they are or the way we’d like them to be? Mark Gastineau was obviously lured only to receive the kiss from the black widow. We’re smarter, we think. A quick “7″ gets us out the door and saves on the divorce lawyers. Besides, we also get to keep our patch of land in the trailer park.

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