Archive for the ‘Katrina Bowden’ Category

Thursday, May 1st, 2008

Katrina Bowden’s Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

Hard to believe, but we’ve seen 30 Rock’s Katrina Bowden actually looking better. And where Kat got this tacky outfit is anyone’s guess. Is it a sun suit from the Miley Cyrus sandbox collection? Wait, we forgot. Hannah Montana’s going around in bedsheets these days and turning Walt Disney over in his grave. Ranked # 325 of the most web-searched celebrities from New Jersey, Bowden, who was born in Wycoff, has scant professional resume. So we’d be quite happy to forge one for her. A darling of the Bergen County Record since she’s the only one from that area with a steady job and a full set of teeth, Bowden’s forever granting interviews about the time she wore Catholic school girl uniforms while attending Immaculate Heart Academy in Washington Township. Perhaps Bowden might call that positive press, we’d call it $300 an hour if she’d come over and model one for us. And because at 5′9″, Kat’s a big chick, we might go as high as $350. It would appear that Katrina’s got a hefty project lined up, a starring role in National Lampoon’s Ratko: The Dictator’s Son. The funnier working title had been Stalin: The Dictator’s Daughter, but there had been several problems getting state department clearances. If we were granted one precious moment with this lovely heartbreaker, our impulse might be to ask her what Alec Baldwin is really like. Although we’ve got some suspicions of our own from personal experience at the Ventura & Winnetka Starbucks. Our other dream would be to share a Venti Mild with Katrina, reach under the table, slip off her penny loafers and play hide the diploma with her bare Catholic school girl feet. Then reality would snap us back into play. We’d see that right toe of hers making a sharp turn off the Garden State Parkway- all the more disconcerting to stare at, the realization being that even hot blonds have serious structural flaws. Katrina, Katrina, we would have gone has high as $400 but can now, only in good conscience, give you a “7″ and ask for change.

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