Archive for the ‘Kate Hudson’ Category

Monday, April 7th, 2008

Kate Hudson’s Feet - Kangaroos Reincarnate as Shoes

Click To Enlarge Feet

Poor Kate Hudson. As hideous pictures of her mother Goldie Hawn, sans makeup, surfaced on the Internet recently, our thoughts and prayers went with this progeny of former Hollywood cuteness. Because if the like mother, like daughter rule holds remotely true, this is what Kate’s got to look forward to, genetics being the stubborn mule that eventually kicks you in the face. Shoot us now would be our fervent wish. Wait. Isn’t her on again, off again boyfriend Owen Wilson? One of his psychotic blackouts might take care of that. And to dispel another notion you might have had, Kurt Russell, who’s been living in sin with Hawn for years, is not Hudson’s biological father. In fact, Kate, who’s of Ashkenazi Jewish descent, says Bill Hudson, the true inseminator who went on to marry Cindy Williams from Laverne and Shirley fame, doesn’t know her from a hole in a wall. In Ashkenazi, this bum would be fittingly described as a regular schlemiel, schlimazel. Rising above this dubious genealogy, Kate’s breakthrough role came in Cameron Crowe’s Almost Famous, for which she received an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actress and won the Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actress. From there, Hudson, who made the questionable decision of turning down the girlfriend role in Spider-Man, thus leaving audiences holding the bag with Kirsten Dunst, went on to some truly lamentable comedy projects of her own. When she’s not rolling you in theater aisles with her faux Goldie mannerisms, Hudson’s also the image model for Kamiseta, a Filipino line of young women’s clothing which has a fat lady apparel Mexican sister company called Mamacita. Proof that kangaroos reincarnate as shoes after they pass on, Kate could be cute wearing anything dead, the full exhibit on array here. Judging from the terminal inevitability of the Goldie pics, our advice is to gather Kate’s toes while ye may. Adore her, embrace her. Give her a cuddly “8″. Listen for the Goldie giggle.

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