Archive for the ‘Kate Bosworth’ Category

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

Kate Bosworth’s Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

There is a freeze frame moment in Superman Returns when the deliciously delectable Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane kicks off her high heels, displaying her feet. It’s a deliberate situation, gratuitous, pointless to plot, and obviously made to arouse which is what we liked about it. So having replayed this foot porn scene over and over in the privacy of our mental bathroom, the remainder of this review becomes but a perfunctory exercise in cheap humor. Hard to think, looking at this divine essence of pulse-pounding Tinsel Town flesh, but Kate traces her lineage back to the early New England Puritans. Not the football team, but those very same guys who introduced sexually repressed laws and witch burning into our culture. And like the curse foretold in Hawthorne’s The House of the Seven Gables, Kate, alas suffers the sins of her forefathers - she was born with sectoral heterochromia. And, it sounds a lot more complicated and serious than what it is. Basically all it means is that Kate’s got one hazel eye and one blue eye. Cripes out loud, we had a Huskie named Bruno with the same condition and Bruno didn’t get a hematoma named after him. With the Bosworth ancestry guild also going for her, Kate pursued the tight riding pants snob culture that is competitive horsemanship and was a champion equestrian. We saw a little bit of that at the Kentucky Derby where a horse got put under due to some jockey’s equestrian skills. Also a member of the National Honor Society, Bosworth was accepted to Princeton and was later kicked out for failure to attend - true story. Kate’s first film was The Horse Whisperer for her ability to whisper in horse. She also appeared in Remember the Titans and you’ll remember her as the broad who remembered them. For the surfing movie Blue Crush, Kate gained 15 pounds of muscle and provided even more freeze frame moments because her feet had achieved Ms. Olympia proportions. Bosworth detractors have described her as a bikini hanging from a broom but we say, oh yeah!? Screw you. The darker side of Bosworth’s resume contains a role in which she plays porn giant John Holmes’ teenage girlfriend. She balanced that mess with her portrayal of the squeaky clean Sandra Dee in the Kevin Spacey film about Bobby Darin, a vanity exercise which allowed Spacey to try out a number of brand new pompadour toupees. Sadly, another mess. In fact Kate’s appeared in one mess after another, her latest one being 21, a break the bank at Vegas movie in which she’s a math genius, although Bosworth confesses she’s horrible at the subject. In this photo, Kate has the glazed look of some dame who was invited to a $50 bukkake. And we’re giving her an “8″. It could have been higher, but with Kate’s math skills, she will never know the difference.

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