Archive for the ‘Helena Christensen’ Category

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

Helena Christensen’s Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

The cat dragged-out of bed look isn’t something fashion experts would ordinarily espouse, but on spindly legged Helena Christensen it somehow works. Born Christmas Day, a luck of the draw which automatically screws you out of birthday presents, Christensen’s a former Miss Denmark from Copenhagen. Christensen, like other genetically extravagant women who abhor the concept of physical labor, parlayed this small distinction toward becoming a supermodel, an acclaim that’s always puzzled us for its lack of comic books, secret hideouts and sexually ambiguous leotard-wearing sidekicks. Christensen either must have saved up a lot of dough or has mysterious resources to allow her an antique shop in Manhattan, a home in Monaco, and apartments in Copenhagen and New York City. We Googled her name and came up with the intriguing fact that Christensen’s left-handed - a vital piece of information like those old baseball cards when you were a kid telling you how Virgil’s got a twin brother, Chico, who plays second base in the Dominican league. In 1991, Christiansen went topless in the famous Chris Isaak “Wicked Game,” acknowledged by some as the sexiest video of all time, that is, until 2 Girls and 1 Cup came along. In assessing her amatory resume, it’s difficult to find an obscure rock or rock musician that Christiansen hasn’t looked under. Her big fish in love’s trout stream seems to have been Leonardo DiCaprio, and Christiansen was also the mystery woman who phoned Heath Ledger moments before he was found doing the breast stroke in a bed sheet. Also a cheese addict, Christiansen’s quoted as saying, “There’ve been times when I’ve bought a whole pound of [it] and walked down the street and eaten it … I think it’s incredibly sensual.” Occasionally she’ll store Velveeta in her high heels just to be frolicsome, from what we’ve also Googled. Which brings us to the subject at hand. Christiansen’s foot language displays the fact that she’s saucy, temperamental, episodic and prone to leaving voice mails to incapacitated dead guys. Like DaVinci, Leonardo’s code for Helena began with an “8″.

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