Archive for the ‘Heidi Montag’ Category

Thursday, May 15th, 2008

Heidi Montag’s Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

Not since Dolly Parton first yodeled her way into the heart of the Ozarks, has a blond captivated with such outrageous tresses. But this is Heidi Montag, a Hollywood events planner, who generally plans on being an event all by herself. Born in Crested Butte, the kayak capital of Colorado, Heidi studied alcohol poisoning management in school, a course which stands her good stead in her present social occupation. However, Heidi did drop out of school not finding it challenging enough. Einstein had been faced with similar decisions. As with all half way decent looking charmers in Hollywood, Heidi’s leap to prominence seems to be a murky series of coincidences, provocative leg turns and door openings that landed her in the right place at the right time. A boob hoist, as well as a self-admitted chop job on that beak of hers didn’t hurt, either. In an April 2008 interview, Montag announced that she’s a Republican and plans to vote for John McCain in the 2008 presidential election, although she isn’t registered to vote. When approached about that minor discrepancy, Montag said this was because she had been too busy and planned getting around to it. Possibly next year. Heidi has also appeared on MTV’s reality show, The Hills but politely turned down the opportunity of appearing in the snuff version, titled The Hills of Thighs, a fun mix of in-breeding, ritualistic murder and party planning. Heidi’s ties to the recording industry are, likewise, baffling, being a contradictory series of announced deals then changes of plan mid-stream. But this we know. Heidi’s fashion selections, judging by this colorful doily, would look great on any cathedral altar in the world. Whether saying mass or saying I’ve had it, Heidi shows just the proper amount of mid-thigh together with sandal/heels from the Quintus Arius centurion collection. A perfectly-pedicured set of toes might indicate that Heidi spends a lot of time on her ass. And we’d have to agree. But when push comes to shove, and it’s time to row that galleon out to meet the Macedonian pirates, “8″ sweaty slaves will do Heidi’s bidding.

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