Archive for the ‘Dabney Mercer’ Category

Friday, May 30th, 2008

Dabney Mercer’s Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

Not to be confused with Dabney Coleman, Dabney Mercer is the sister of socialite Tinsley Mortimer as well as pen pal and confidante to the ultra mysterious Lavidia Kowazowski. Now aren’t you glad we straightened that mess out? But if you’re still confused about Dabney, let us explain. Mercer was run over by a car driven by another useless socialite, Lizzie Grubman, at a party in Long Island a bunch of years ago. And this is pretty much Mercer’s claim to fame other than being spoiled past the expiration date. When it was suggested one time in a NY gossip column that Mercer came from “humble beginnings” boy did the Mercers go ape manure. Tinsley’s father, George Mercer, went so far as to inform the perpetrator Lloyd Grove that not only is the family in good standing with the social register, but that Dabney’s ancestor is Thomas Jefferson, that she was raised in the biggest home in central Virginia, that she had a nanny, two gardeners and a butler. And that she was selected to lead the Southern debutante cotillion. Frankly we liked the story about her getting run over by a drunk broad a lot better, and the straight to DVD movie about that horrible incident should be a blast. Proof that abominable styling allows no pedigree, Dabney sports a dress acknowledging Van Gogh’s manic depressive purple period. Still sporting battle wounds from the Grubman incident, Mercer’s left leg is an example of when the Mercedes rubber meets either the road, or your shin. Pity that Dabney’s nanny, butler, two gardeners and Thomas Jefferson didn’t get her proper attention in time. Flaws tend to give your feet that “humble beginnings” look. And, modestly, we offer Dabney a “6″.

Posted in 6 out of 10, Dabney Mercer | No Comments »