Archive for the ‘Brooke Shields’ Category

Friday, March 21st, 2008

Brooke Shields’ Feet - Let Us Spike You

Click To Enlarge Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

From the time she was a kid, and a successful model to boot, Brooke Shields, who claims lineage to Italian nobility, has been mired in controversy. Cries of kiddie porn arose over her nudity in Pretty Baby where Shields was a scant 11 years old, and the blossom on the rose of great career promise. And, of course, you’ll remember the famous jeans ad on TV where Brooke suggestively tells you that nothing comes between her and her Calvin Kleins. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Brooke got naked again [or her body doubles did, she later swore to Congress] in The Blue Lagoon and Endless Love. And, for a big broad, Brooke’s also got smarts, having graduated from Princeton University with a fairly useless degree in French Literature- a distinction that basically qualifies either the critiquing of Jerry Lewis movies or lending drunken late night accompaniment to scratchy Edith Piaf recordings. Although Brooke has done stage shows and was also in a successful TV sitcom, she’s always claimed that her six footness worked to disadvantage, thus preventing her from landing roles opposite shorter male actors who often confused her womanhood with her eyebrows. In 1997 Brooke married the golden tressed tennis star Andre Agassi and promptly wore out his hair. Having later battled post partum depression and espoused certain antidepressants, Brooke brings that same spirit to her fashion ware. Although, quite frankly, we hadn’t realized that the 30-gallon Hefty Cinch Sak was also available in a formal design. But because our ultimate fantasy is to massage the painted feet of big boned volley ball chicks on beaches everywhere, Brooke, we’ll have to assume, is shielding the fact that her lively arches could provide hours of amusement in the sandbox. So we’ll give her an “8″ on the promise she lets us spike her.

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