Archive for the ‘Apollonia’ Category

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

Apollonia’s Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

Vanity, Sheila E, Apollonia. After awhile the women in the Prince lexicon all melt into one big haired, ethnic indeterminate hybrid. And such is the story of Apollonia Kotero, a former swimsuit model, who came along to replace Vanity in the film Purple Rain and went on to having her own music career. Speaking of melting, though, one might ask a question of immense subtlety: like, what the hell happened to Kotero’s face in the intervening years besides the chipmunk implants and God knows what else? Our immediate suspicion is that Apollonia has turned into Joanie Laurer, aka, Chyna, the lady wrestler. Or worse yet a Stockard Channing clone. And that would be the grimmest of all assumptions, unless you include the possibility of grandma Kardashian. There’s no rhyme or reason to what’s happened here, unless you accept the influence Lorenzo Lamas may have had on Apollonio during her time on Falcon Crest. Now we’ll give Apollonia points on the fact that she’s well stocked and packs a mean figure- i.e. Frisbee-sized implants- into a tiny red dress. Bulky calves don’t hurt the overall picture, either because they’re generally the barometer of good, honest feet. The overall picture is of a spa-pampered woman whose corns have yet to turn the Julie Christie corner, but we know that’s coming. If Apollonia isn’t satisfied with the “8″ we give her, she can always bequeath it to one of the winners in her lookalike contest.

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