Archive for the ‘Anna Faris’ Category

Friday, May 2nd, 2008

Anna Faris’ Feet

Click To Enlarge Feet

Rare is the actress who can claim to have anything named after her. But next time you’re messing the sheets with your lover and perform the Faris-wheel, you’ll know where that came from. Born in Baltimore, the city of hardshell crabs, harder women and hardcore prostitution, Anna Faris was born at a young age. From the time she was in grade school and performed at the Seattle Repertory Theater, Anna knew she wanted to be in horror movie knock offs. Her opportunity came in the role of a lifetime when she appeared in Scary Movie, a film with infinitely more shudders than the Forties Universal classic, Bela and Boris Go to The Morgue. However, great as she was, you may not have recognized Anna in “Scary” simply because she elected to dye her hair black. A blond changing color, you’ll certainly agree, is like John Holmes begging the doctor to remove several inches. But Anna ain’t your basic horror movie bimbo. No sireeeee. She also appears in Brokeback Mountain [hint: she’s the woman]. And our favorite Anna role is her psycho, Mariah Carey turn as the singer in Just Friends where Faris adds an exciting complex dimension to dementia. She is currently in production on the comedy, Kids in America, where she’ll appear as Topher Grace’s twin sister, Amazing. While it’s quite obvious that Anna’s breasts have been jacked up with implants, we’re a little set off with the full on shot. And this is the reason why we bring in our special consultant, Vinnie The Foot, on such matters. Faris appears to have two entirely different legs, the left one belonging to the governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. To our way of thinking, this is like finding that cute Asian chick in the corner of the bar, then grabbing between her legs only to find a package addressed to Knock Her Teeth Out, North Dakota. But Vinnie says, trust him. He’s seen these kind of feet before, and they’re worth the time and effort. We say, why Anna, why? But Vinnie says “8″. And he knows his shit.

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