Archive for June, 2008

8 out of 10 Feet Up!

The question’s often asked, what do your legs want to be when they grow up? At age 33, actress Michelle Krusiec has obviously been wrestling with an answer for a long time. Our more to the point query is, what’s an Asian woman doing with the Litvak bar maid’s name Krusiec? We’re told it comes from an adoptive American uncle, so dirty thoughts about closets and don’t tell mommy immediately spring to mind. But that’s us, and we should not be paid attention to. Born in Fallon, Nevada, Krusiec was recruited to be one of six globetrotting travel reporters for the Discovery Channel series called Travelers. But we’re better liking the fact that she got to play a Chinese American lesbian with a gleeful sense of taekwondo in the film Saving Face. Obviously type cast to look at her, Krusiec specializes in playing characters named Exquisite Woo and Mei-Ling Hwa Darling. So rumors continually abound that she’s up for a big part in a chick flick about the Benihana restaurant chain. We’re looking into those as we speak. In the bantam rooster weight division, Kruisiec models an outfit up to her cock-a-doodle-do while displaying foot-wise, toenail-assured confidence with a gleeful sense of Kung Fu. Is Michelle’s Kung Fu better than ours? It’s hard to tell, Master Po. Lest we chance to find out the wrong way, we make a peace offering of “8″.

Posted in 8 out of 10, Michelle Krusiec | 1 Comment »

6 out of 10 Feet Up!

Did it ever strike you how some women seem to have six or more toes when the reality is they have five like the rest of us? That seems to be the case of Summer Glau who, upon first glance, appears to be packing those sandals like a bleacher day special at Dodger Stadium. Summer is a dancer and probably best known for her role as River Tam in the short-lived science fiction series Firefly. [The River Phoenix part went to someone else, but he killed himself.] Trained in classic tango, it took Summer awhile to get the rose out of her mouth to speak for herself on interviews. But once she did, Summer hit her stride by landing a number of obscure Sci-Fi roles that generally had her playing either schizos or innocent young ladies betrayed by greaseball tango-dancing boyfriends from alien planets - parts she could assume without too much research, obviously. Rumor has it that M. Night Shyamalan wants to ruin her career, as well, with the lead in one of his ridiculous movies. But we’re checking into that. Summery and evidently dressed for a picnic, Ms. Glau gives a hint of neither here nor there, which makes her fascinating to us. In a game of strip dice with loaded cubes, we’d like to get those shoes off and find out why Summer’s toes are four sizes larger than the rest of the pack. Bet there’s a story there, and M. Night would be right on top of it. It might have something to do with Haley Joel Osment, and then it might not. At least that’s our “6″ sense.

Posted in 6 out of 10, Summer Glau | 1 Comment »

8 out of 10 Feet Up!

When we discovered that the smoking hot Aussie pianist/songwriter Delta Goodrem played piano in her bare feet, we had to check out what Chopin, who played Chopstix with his nose, was evidently lacking in his career. As far as we’re concerned, Delta could Play Misty for Me then attack us with a carving knife for all we care. This chick certainly packs a wallop in the sexual allure department, though that Sheik of Araby outfit is exactly what we don’t need with thoughts of sharing a sweltering night under the stars with her and her ivory tickling toes. To date, Goodrem is all over the charts in countries you never heard of, only the downer to all this is the fact that she, at age 18, was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a form of cancer. Though Delta has since made a full recovery, this information is akin to learning that your dream girl never wiped her ass. But for braving it out, Delta gets an “8″ and a roll of toilet paper.

Posted in 8 out of 10, Delta Goodrem | No Comments »