In her role as Charlotte in Sex and the City, Kristin Davis always struck us as the tight ass of the group- kinda close-minded and very close legged. No more. Especially when the Internet came alive recently with suggestions that Davis had been in a sex tape. Oh there were the haughty denials from the Davis P.R. camp, of course. Except, let’s face it. The woman in the tape was either Davis or Wanda Slinkowski, a famous Davis impersonator. We’ll probably never know. As soon as that furor died down, Davis was back in the news again. Only now she was being confused with a fat-assed, thick legged peroxide hooker in New York with the same name. What’s a girl to do? More famous now than she’s ever been- at least by sexual association- the formerly reticent Davis is really opening up. Day after day there’s a new tabloid account about how Davis is an inveterate boozer and desirous of having a child before her Fallopian tubes close off. A weekend supplying both those needs could be quite the thing, we imagine. Davis makes no bones about the fact, either, that she’s open to any come-on involving celebrity and has spent time on the pillows with the likes of Steve Martin, Alec Baldwin, Jeff Goldbum and Liev Schreiber. Two of which are toupee wearers but you can figure that one out for yourselves. With her choices of companionship, any Five & Dime shrink will make the case for Davis and her daddy/abandonment issues. Particularly since her parents split up when Davis was still in the crib shitting her pants. In the healing process, our theory is much simpler. Blow smoke up that Hong Kong hooker outfit of hers and watch the fur fly, if you will. Another five will get you “9″ that by the time those shoes come off and thumbs are applying pressure to those womanly calves, playful toes and heavenly arches, Kristen will have forgotten all about Alec Baldwin and her father. And wouldn’t that be Freudian.
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